Richard Simmons Is Persuasive

As you are probably aware there is a charged and emotional debate being waged as you read this concerning the future of Physical Education in our nation's schools. Facing severe budget cuts and the need to make some hard choices many schools have decided to eliminate that most cheirshed of all clases, gym.

That doesn't sit well with some, and the pro-P.E. crowd today trotted out its Top Gun of Gym, Richard Simmons, who achieved fame and fortune with such diverse mega-hits as "Sweating with The Oldies" and "Sweating with the Oldies II", to testify before Congress.

Fitness guru Richard Simmons urged Congress Thursday morning to keep and expand physical education in American public schools.

"What have we done to the kids of the United States of America?" Simmons told Congress Thursday, speaking passionately and shaking his hands vigorously. "This is wrong. ...I just may run for office to help really get this through."

Simmons’ testimony comes as budget cuts are forcing public schools to scale back or eliminate physical education programs. Simmons and his supporters held a rally after the testimony.

Simmons went on to say that some of his "fondest memories of high school occured in the boys' locker room" and that gym class had taught him to be "the man that I am today".

Moments after his testimony Congress voted 432-3 to permanently ban all Physical Education classes in all schools, both public and private, made teaching or attending gym a capital offense and put a $50,000 bounty on the head of all Phys. Ed. teachers.

The bill is now awaiting the President's signature; he is expected to sign it.

Venice Surf Report 07/25/08 The Boyos In The Bushes

Venice Surf Report Surf Report Southern California

There is some swell in the water, but the surfers in the water probably wouldn't say so.





Lowish tide and a very disorganized swell mix just have it plain junky, mixed up and shifty. I watched for a solid fifteen minutes and neither of the two guys out on the north side got into anything at all.





It might be (shit, has to be) better up north, especially given the tide, maybe we will see oil continue to drop and those trips will get a little bit more affordable.

Sun making an early appearance, plenty of street parking left, two out, one more getting in, overall grade a C-.

Saw Tommy early this morning.

As you can see he is reading the LA Times just like any other man of leisure, striking a rather elegant pose as befitting a man of his position.





It is a bit curious that he would be perusing the movie ads as he has no money, and even if he did it would be a tough sell getting anyone to sit next to him in the close confines of a movie theater for 2+ hours given his (lack of) personal grooming habits, but I guess a man can dream, eh?

I went over to talk to him and he had a rather interesting story to tell.



"Hey, Tommy, what's happening?" I asked.

"Not much" he replied.

"The boyos over by the bathroom?"

He shook his head and pointed over towards the bushes.



"No, they're sleeping over there now" he said. "The guys that clean the bathrooms were making them wake up too early so they moved over to the bushes, but then they were having a problem with the sprinklers turning on first thing in the morning."

"Really?"

"Yeah" he replied, "but they thought they had it figured out yesterday when they found a water valve and turned the thing off in the hopes of killing the sprinklers. Turns out what they had turned off, though, was the water supply to the bathrooms and showers, and once they had it closed couldn't get it back open. DWP came down and it took them something like 6 hours to figure out the problem."

"What about the sprinklers, they get them off?"

"Nope. But I guess they just don't care."

"I guess not" I replied.

Oh, those boyos, there's just no telling what sort of mischief they'll get into!

Something You Should Watch

Whether you like Ron Paul or not you should really watch his take on the Fannie and Freddie bailout paid for by you and me.



I love the way they say that it's only going to cost $25B yet in the same bill they raise the national debt by 800B.

I call bullshit.

Think your Job Is Tough?

There's a place in Russia where there are apparently some bears that have acquired a taste for human flesh.

Terrified workers at a mining compound in one of Russia's most isolated regions are refusing to go to work after a pack of giant bears attacked and ate two of their colleagues.

At least 30 of the hungry animals have been seen prowling close to the mines in northern Kamchatka in search of food, where the mangled remains of the two workers, both guards, were found last week.

The Kamchatka brown bear is one of the world's largest, with males growing to around three metres (10ft) and weighing up to 700kg (1,540lb). They can also reach speeds of up to 30mph (48km/h) despite their size.

I like how the two people killed were "guards". What, exactly, were they prepared to guard against? UFO's? Earthquakes? Poor fashion? Maybe these guards could get some GUNS and then they could shoot the bears.

But what do I know?

You Have Got To Be Kidding Me

Think that Wall St. deserves your tax money in the form of a bailout? Pissed because your dollar is becoming more and more worthless? Angry that you are going to foot the bill to keep housing prices unaffordable?

Well, wait til you watch this:




You know, when I worked as a bartender we took drunks and threw them the fuck out of the bar, we didn't keep giving them more and more booze. Yet that is EXACTLY what they have planned for "the drunks" on Wall St.

Unfuckingbelievable