First approach to the Pier Homeless

I finally resolved last night to make some real effort to get to meet some of the homeless down by the pier. So, to start off, I drank about a fifth of vodka, put on some old ratty clothes and hopped on the bike. A quick reconnoiter failed to turn up any gatherings but I did see one old guy all huddled up trying to stay warm. It seemed rather incongruous - one old guy with nothing surrounded by hundreds of beer swilling, sushi eating yuppies - so I took a few pictures from behind. Plus, the dude looked like he was sleeping and I didn't want to wake him.



I wanted to give him a few bucks for using his likeness so I nudged him and told him I found three dollars on the ground right next to him, which he eagerly grabbed.

So I went into the Whaler for a quick beer as it looked like there was a comedy show going on (there was and the girl running it supposedly is going to let me perform there on the 21st - we shall see) but all in all the comcis were pretty lame. I left when one got up and said " This is my very first time so I made a list of all my jokes so I don't forget how to be funny" Ugh. Knowing I couldn't sit through that I made my way outside and what do I see? My buddy in the orange coat wide awake and full of piss and vinegar.



Turns out his name is Thomas and he has been living at the pier for something like 20 years. My 3 bucks had immediately gone to a 40 oz. Colt 45 and it seemed to do wonders for him; what was a comatose old man 30 minutes ago was now an expansive and eager storyteller. Seeing as the Colt 45 had had such an effect I immediately bought him 3 more and a Heineken for myself. Even though I was a little too drunk to make much sense I explained what I wanted to do as far as using him as one of my correspondents at the pier and he was all for it. I left him knowing that I had found the right person indeed.

As proof of that, I saw Tom again this morning at 7:15 am (in the exact same spot where I left him at 10 pm last night) and as he sees me he calls out my name and starts telling the other two about our discussion last night. They were also eager to help, which is reassuring, but then I notice that Tom is holding what? Three Colt 45's! I remarked at his discipline for saving them for the morning and he just shook his head and looked at me like I was the dumbest guy on the beach.



"Son, these ain't from last night; these're my breakfast!"

Should be lots of fun..........stay tuned.