Venice Pier Surf Report June 18 2007 / Christian Sleeps in the Wet Spot

Cut in size to waist high but again, so what? Ultra low tide Venice where, and I know this will be a surprise, everything is closing out.





A -0.9 low happened at 6:52 am. You could go now but really, what's the point? Wait for the tide to fill in, hope for some help from the tide push and if the wind cooperates you could have some fun.

2 out, 2 getting in, 0 suiting up, street parking 300% gone. Overcast, surface still a bit junky from last night and light / variable winds.

The afternoon started like any other yesterday; after paddling out with some bros at the pier and running some errands with the wife, I watched a little US Open and NASCAR on the tube. After Tiger missed a 45 footer to finish second, I decided to head down to the pier and see what the boyos were up to.

I first ran across Victor and Tommy, who had left the pier uncharacteristically early and were hanging out at ReMax. They wouldn’t say why they had left early, but they were clearly avoiding something that was happening down there.



It didn’t take long to figure out what it was. The day had started early and lasted well into the afternoon.

How did I know this?

The first sign was Christian COMPLETELY passed out not 5 feet from the entrance to the Pier.





I even got some close ups as not only was he passed out, he was snoring up a storm.







Here is one horrified family’s reaction as they approach the pier. Dad has a look of disgust on his face and Mom is telling the kids “don’t you look at that bum – he ain’t nothing for you to be looking at.”



One guy even stopped to get a few pictures of his own



The second sign that the day had been a BIG party was that Randy had also passed out about 15 feet away from Christian, but up the beach a bit.



Now normally this wouldn’t be anything especially noteworthy. But, as you may have noticed, our boy Christian here is the official face of the HobOlympics (click on the “Buy a HobOlympics T-Shirt" at the top right of the page to see what I mean) and as such, carries all the responsibilities and obligations of such a prestigious title.

I was mulling over the ramifications of the situation when this guy



comes over and tells me that I might want to take a little closer look at Christian as something has, uh, happened.

See if you can guess what it is.

Here’s the before:



And here’s the after:







Yep, you guessed it - Christian, in his passed out state, has absolutely and completely pissed himself, in broad daylight, right at the entrance to the Venice Pier.

Needless to say any concerns I had had as to his hobo qualifications and continued representation of the boyos were immediately gone.

It even got me to thinking; we may have to (no, we need to) make up another T-Shirt immortalizing this moment, with captions along the lines of:

”I had a pisser time at the Pier”

”Venice Pier, CA – Come for the surf, stay for the bums pissing themselves”

“See what happens when you sleep instead of drink?”

Any and all ideas are welcome, please send your suggestions to me here . The winner will get a free T-Shirt and your picture and credit for the idea here on the site.

One the way home I stopped by ReMax again and Tommy, and some REALLY weird woman, had shown up.





They were all dry so I went and bought a round for them and even got one for myself.

That turned into two (here are the empties)



and those, combined with the generous drinks from Tim at Baja Cantina a litte bit earlier, meant I was riding a little unsteadily by the time I got home.

But fuck it - I busted my cherry, as it were, and have descended just a bit further into understanding what it's really like to be one of these guys.

My wife was not too thrilled that my 45 minute bike ride had turned into a 4 hour journey, from which I returned home buzzed, but I felt it was my journalistic obligation to get the story as it unfolded.

Send in those ideas on the t-shirts, I'll be looking for them.