Venice Surf Report 10/23/07 True Work Stories Part II

Venice Surf Report Venice CA Surf Conditions

Not as walled -





Slight cut in size is actually working on our favor as the head high(+) walled up bombs that were a pretty regular feature yesterday seem to have split leaving us with waist high(+/-) swell that is offering up some fun, if slightly mushy/slow,
corners.






Light offshores, two out north, one out south, still some street parking; I say give it a shot.

It's gotta beat work, right?


Okay, so back to the story about the time I was managing a store that had a salesforce of rejects / losers / crackheads that sold frozen steak and seafood door to door:

Soon after I got my management gig I was presented with a small challenge: find a receptionist,

Now, I had never hired anyone for anything whatsoever, so had no idea how one goes about hiring someone, but I knew enough to put an ad in the paper under "Receptionist Wanted" and soon the phone began to ring.

This person's duties included speaking on the phone to potential hires and customers, so the first part of the interview, for right or wrong, happened when they called about the job and I picked up the phone.

"Hello?" they would say.

"Yes, can I help you?" I would reply.

"Yeah, I wanted to axe you 'bout dat job you had inna paper. You still hiring for dat?"

"No, I'm sorry, you're just a few minutes too late" I would reply. "An applicant of exceptional character has just accepted that particular position" as I looked at the poster of Mr. T on the wall that the previous manager had left behind "but I would be happy to keep your resume on file should another position become available."

"Oh."

"Do you HAVE a resume?" I would ask.

"No, I don't think so" they would typically reply "But I could axe my doctor; I think he checked for that like 2 years ago when I thought my brother done got me pregnant."

"You know what?" I would say. "Give me your number. I'll call you if we begin hiring again."

A this point the illiterate retard on the other end of the phone would start telling me their whole life's story and how much they needed a job; generally I would put the phone on the desk and when the noise stopped pick it up and confirm that, yes indeed, they were first on the list for the Next Thing That Opened.

And, right or wrong, that was my screening process for the next three days.

Then it happened.

"Hello?" this extremely demure, sexy voice said. "Is this YNB?"

"It is indeed. May I inquire as to the purpose of your call?"

And this very....young.....and intelligent.... sounding voice replied -

"Well, my name is Melissa and I was just looking over the want ads and I saw you were looking for a receptionist and since I am off school for the whole summer I thought maybe I could come in and work there."

Holy Shit! School? Not High School?

"Oh, you're in school. What college do you go to?"

Giggles. I swear to you, that's what she did - she giggled into the phone.

"Not college, you silly. High School. I'm going to be a Senior at Fort Myers High."

Sweet - a High Schooler. This should be good.

"How soon can you come in for an interview?"

"I can be there today anytime after lunch."

"Let's make it 2 pm, then. Let me give you directions...."

And so, at the appointed hour, in walks a very young looking blonde with an enormous rack and a big, round ass. She had maybe 20 lbs. to lose, so wasn't going to be in Playboy anytime soon, but she had that one thing that is always attractive at that age: youth.

"Can I see your drivers license?" I ask.

She hands it over, I made a copy for the records, see that she is 19, and hand her back her license and give her an application to fill out.

She got it back to me in just a few minutes and to my surprise it had no spelling errors, good sentence structure - the girl was literate.

So, we sat and talked for a few minutes, discussed money and hours and then I offered her the job.

"Really? Oh, that's SO great! Thank you so much! My first job, I can't believe it!"

As she is saying all this I get up to shake her hand and instead she runs over and gives me a big hug, pressing those big, wonderful titties against me.

And of course, the tail that wags the dog immediately sat up to see what was going on, but if Melissa noticed she didn't let on as she continued to hug me.

Well, I think to myself, I hired someone, and someone that should at least make life interesting during those long hours of doing nothing between when the guys went out in the morning and came back in the evening.

So, she started the next day and was there on time and ready to work. She was actually very efficient, getting all the guys to the trucks and doing the paperwork so they could leave - she really made my job a lot easier.

Everything seemed perfect - she was cute, had a good sense of humor, picked up things very quickly and even liked to play practical jokes; I was a happy boss.

But all was not as perfect as it seemed.

The first sign that all was not well was about the fourth or fifth day.

Once a month all of the managers had a mandatory conference call where the owner got on and talked about sales, who was doing well, who was not - it was a good call to be on when you were doing well and not so much fun if things were bad.

Well, during this call I am sitting at my desk with my feet up and getting grilled about the things I was supposed to have learned since I started when Melissa comes over and motions like she needs to get something out of one of my desk drawers.

I nod okay, she leans over and drags her big boobs right across my lap. And then stays there and looks me in the eye as my pocket rocket gets ready for blast off.

Whereupon she unzips me and, well, let's just put it this way; she proceeds to perform an act that left me free to continue on my conference call whereas she would have been unable to talk to anyone about anything at all.

Needless to say that was, by far, the best conference call of my life.

And when it was over I felt like I had to say something.

"So, Melissa, what did I do to deserve that?"

"Oh, I don't know, I just thought you could use it - you looked very tense on that call and besides, I never did thank you properly for giving me this job."

"Well, that sure beats the shit out of a card - what can I say, thank you."

"You liked it?"

"Hell yes, it was amazing!"

"I'm glad you liked it, cause I LOVE doing it."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, I don't know what it is, but I just LOVE sucking dick. It just turns me on SO much - I love it"

"Well, that's a good thing, 'cause you are excellent at it" which, in truth, she REALLY was.

"Guess this job just got a lot more fun for both of us then, didn't it?" she asked.

"I would say so" I replied.

And it did. I can honestly say that there has never been, nor will there ever be, a job before or since that I enjoyed showing up for as much as that one.

But there was a problem. The Employee Manual for the company very clearly stated that "relationships" between managers and those that reported to them were prohibited.

The term "relationship" seemed a little vague, so I decided that rather than report Melissa to my boss I would see if her proclivity for giving head led to anything other than a strict employee / employer relationship.

So, over the course of the next two months and 60-70 blowjobs I came to the conclusion that we were still acting strictly professional.

But, just to play it safe, I called my boss, Steve, and told him I needed him to come down in the next few days as I had a personnel issue I needed help with and I felt it was not something we should discuss over the phone.

So three days later Steve shows up in the late afternoon.

Melissa's hours at the time were 8 am to 3 pm so she was not there so I laid out my dilemma to Steve.

And after much thought we came up with a plan of action to ensure that Melissa and I were not forming a "relationship"

This plan consisted of sending me out to buy breakfast the next morning at the local deli once all the trucks were loaded up and gone, and making sure I stayed gone for at least 30 minutes.

Upon my return I find my boss, Steve, laying back in my desk chair, feet on the desk, a huge smile on his face. As he sees me walking in he asks "if I had a cigarette?", which I did, so we went outside to smoke.

"So, what happened?" I asked.

"Just like you said. Three minutes after you left she was on her knees acting like she was trying to suck a golf ball through a garden hose."

"Oh good, so it's not just me then."

"Hang on a minute there, Huckleberry. I don't think we should jump to conclusions. I think I'm going to have to stay here at least through the end of the week and make sure that this wasn't a one time thing. After all, the manual is pretty clear about this."

So he did.

And each morning I would go fetch breakfast, he would get head and we got one step closer to confirming that Melissa's fondness for knob gobbling was just that and nothing else.

Needless to say I was still part of the regular rotation. As a way to make sure that Melissa wasn't transferring her feelings from me to Steve we would work it out where Steve would leave for a half hour each afternoon right after lunch to pick up supplies, get gas, etc. and sure enough, each afternoon Melissa would take care of the boss, me.

After a few weeks of this Steve and I felt sure that we were not in violation of the "no relationship" policy in the handbook.

So, Steve left and went on to some of his other offices he oversaw as a Regional Manager, but his visits to Fort Meyers became much more frequent and protracted.

But all in all it was a good thing, as he had the power to give sales bonuses, which he did on a daily basis, so I was making a lot more money and getting my needs met pretty much whenever I wanted it.

But like all things that seem perfect there was a problem.

Deep down I guess Melissa, like all women, wanted to have a relationship with a special someone who could make you feel something emotionally, not just physical desires.

When we would talk about I would suggest that maybe if she stopped blowing every guy she met in the first 5 minutes things might have a better chance of developing, but she seemed unwilling, or unable, to suppress her desire for a steady supply of cock.

It was soon after this that she came in announced that "she had met someone who really likes her"

"How do you know?" I asked. "What, did he let you blow him behind Fridays after you waited on him last night?" (She had a part time gig at Friday's)

"No, he sent me flowers today."

"Get out - really?" I said.

"Yep, and I'm going to see him again tonight."

"Good for you" I said "but this isn't going to interfere with your regular duties here, is it?"

"Of course not. Why, do you need something?"

"Yeah, I'm feeling a little stressed out and OOOHhhhahhhhhhhhh...."

So I was happy for her, and me, and soon flowers for Melissa started arriving at the office almost every day.

"Man, this guy must really like you" I remarked one day. "You guys getting married or what?"

"I don't know - maybe."

"So how come I've never met him? "

"Oh , he works really far away so it's not really possible for him to get here for lunch or anything like that."

"Well, next time we all go out for beers after work feel free to invite him"

"OK, I will." she said.

The next day I get a call from a customer complaining that there were unauthorized charges on her brand new credit card, and that the only company she had ever charged anything to on the card was our company and what were we going to do about it?

"Hang on a second, ma'am, let's get to the bottom of this. What were the charges?"

"There were three charges, all to the same florist in Ft. Myers"

"Hang on, did you say florist?" as I looked at the newly arrived dozen red roses sitting on Melissa's desk, who was in the bathroom at the time.

"Yes, why?"

"Which florist was it?"

"Holly's Flowers on Summerlin Rd."

"Hang on a second, will you?"

"Sure" she replied.

I get up, look at the card attached to the roses and guess where they were from?

Yep, Holly's Flowers on Summerlin Rd.

"Ma'am, can I have your number, I think I know what is going on and will call you right back."

She gave me the number and her name and as I sat there waiting for Melissa to return I thought of a game plan.

Melissa walked into the room.

"Hey, Melissa, I'm feeling a little tense, think you could - "

"Sure!"

So, as she is taking care of business, I decide what to do.

Melissa gets up, wipes her mouth off, and sits down at her desk.

"Nice flowers" I said.

"Thanks"

"What's the name of the guy who sent them to you?" I ask.

"Why?"

"Because I think he may be in trouble with the cops."

"What?!?"

"Yeah, I just got off the phone with the woman whose card those flowers were charged to and she says she never authorized it and she is getting ready to call the cops."

"The cops? What for?"

"For using a stolen credit card number; that's a felony in this state" I reply.

"It is?"

"Yep"

At this point Melissa got a very sick look on her face and I knew she was busted, and so did she.

"Anything you want to tell me?" I ask.

"Like what?"

"Like how you've been stealing credit card numbers from the files here and using them to send yourself flowers so everyone will think you have a boyfriend."

At which point she started crying and admitted everything.

Long story short she confessed to everything, her parent came up with the dough to make restitution and no criminal charges were filed.

But I did have to fire her.

Which really sucked, in more ways than one.

Moral of the story: when something seems too good to be true it usually is.

But that doesn't mean you can't get some use out of it until it blows up.