Venice Surf Report 05/14/08 Where Are They Now?

Venice Surf Report Free Surf Report Venice CA

Wow - looks good. A bit small, but definitely fun.





Swell is in the waist high + range, some bigger, some smaller, but fun peaky windswell corners are being had by all.



Gorgeous day, lots of sun and sublime conditions. No reason not to paddle out today.



5-6 out on either side, more suiting up, parking oddly available, light offshore/calm winds, going down to a +.65 low at 12:28 pm, should be good until 11 am or so.

So, yesterday Photo Matt wrote in and asked "where are the boyos?", and it occured to me that I didn't know. I knew that they had more or less been run off the end of the pier by the cops / Boston "The Retard" Dawna and a lack of purchasing ability at the "little fucking Korean", but I wanted to know for myself, so I set out yesterday to find them.

As you may recall the last time I saw them was far down the boardwalk in Venice, about 300 yards past he Sidewalk cafe. It didn't go so well as my presence incited some drunk to provoke Kenny, who promptly knocked him the fuck out, but I wanted to see what was up so I went there to see if they were still there.

And, to nobody's surprise, it was as if I had never left them.

The first ones I saw were Christian and Billy, and Christian quickly hustled me off to the side as he had "big news" to tell me.

"Hey Matt - check this out" he said.

"What's that, Christian?" I replied.

"I have been deputized by the cops."

"What"?!?

"Yep. The cops have given me carte blanche to drink beer right here in our little area and all they ask in return is that I kick ass around here when people get out of line. Hell, look at my hands!"







"Well, it certainly looks as though you've been doing your job" I said.

"Ha! You know it. Plus, they even came by and gave me $10 for beer money on my birthday a couple weeks ago."

"Sounds like you've got quite a gig going" I said.

"Yeah" he said, as he thought about it "I just have to make sure I keep order here. I like being able to do what I want and not getting hassled or getting tickets anymore."



"Hey Matt, take a picture of me with my buddy (Ed. note-insert name here, I forget it), okay?"

"Sure thing, Christian."



So, dude, whatever your name is, you are on the website as promised.

Billy was there as well.



As I was asking him what he had been up to I hear this voice behind me yell "Hey, you want to fight?", I turn around and who is it? Kenny!



We spent a few minutes catching up, which doesn't take too long with the boyos as they pretty much do the same thing every day, but he did tell me that Randy, winner of the 2007 HobOlympics Chug of War, had had two grand mal seizures on Saturday and was currently in the hospital, prognosis unknown.

After expressing my sympathies Kenny got very excited and wanted to show me the modifications to his baby carriage, which, when powered by Kenny, is the defending champion of the Hobo 500.

Here he is showing off his baby buggy.







As he was doing this, some very happy chick rode up on a bike and greeted the boyos by name, and asked what we were doing. Christian and Kenny told her that I was the guy who runs the website she had heard so much about, and she pleaded for me to check out her site and put a link to it on mine.

I am not kidding when I say this is one happy chick - look at her pic.



And you can check her site here if you want. I took a quick look at it and there are two thoughts I have; obviously she does not like the police AT ALL, which I can support, and she thinks that when the army takes over it is Marshall Law. Nancy, please - it's "martial" law, not Marshall.

At any rate, soon enough I was hit up for a few bucks which quickly went to some beers, and I grabbed a quick pic of them all enjoying the fruits of my labor as I left.





So, it was good to see them, and I made my exit.

And as I was leaving I see some guy talking to a tree a couple hundred yards down the boardwalk.

Now, this is not as uncommon as you might think here in Venice. But a second glance showed me something very starnge indeed. See if you can figure it out.





Yep, that is a dude dressed up, and dressed quite convincingly, as a tree!



Just goes to show that if you hang out in Venice long enough you can and will see any and everything.

Oh, and by the way, this morning I saw Randy.

He had just been discharged from the hospital and was "feeling great" and "looking for some goddamn alkee-hawl!"



Yeah, I'd say he is back on his feet. He looked a lot better than I have seen him in a long while; he should go to the hospital more often.

So, now we know.