Venice Surf Report 08/18/08 A New Do For Marine Mike

Looking pretty freaking lame out there.

Watched for a good 10 minutes and didn't see anything over knee high, if that. Add to that a very low tide and well, you've pretty much got all the makings of a complete waste of time.





There are three foolish (hardy?) souls out there giving it the 'ol college try, but like the saying goes in basketball, you can't teach height, and ankle slappers are ankle slappers, no matter how hard you paddle.



Plenty of parking, little overcast and cool, should be a nice day. Hell, it WILL be a nice day, this is freaking SoCal fer crying out loud.

Saw Leprechaun up and about early this morning. Normally stationed within 5 feet of the transformer that is his and Tommy's daytime haunt, he was actually up and riding his bike first thing this morning.



Not often that you see Lep pedaling around, but he was out "collecting water for the day" and I guess wanted to make an early start.

The boyos were up and at 'em early as well. Here you can see them gathered around the picnic tables, and as there are no other picnickers at 6:30 am, they have the place to themselves.



I almost didn't recognize Marine Mike as he has made a small adjustment to his 'do, wanting to look like a "2nd lieutenant straight out of OCS".



He definitely has a military bearing, and seems to keep himself in the best shape of all the boyos, but appearances only go so far, 'cause if you look down at his feet what do you see?



Reporting for duty, as it were. Oh well, good for him. If thats' what he wants to do and what makes him happy, well, who am I to say he's wrong?

You only live life once but if you do it right once is enough.

Venice Surf Report 08/14/08 Duty Honor Country...Sort Of

Flat.

Really, really, flat.





I mean, flat like Indiana flat. Flat like a lake flat.



Flat.

Four people out doing their best channel marker impersonations, no reason whatsoever to be out there. Lots of parking, though.

The boyos were out in force at the picnic tables this morning. Christian, Randy, Marine Mike and a few assorted others were doing their normal early morning, how-am- I-going-to-get-drunk-now, war conference consisting of whether they are going to go canning, panhandle or maybe find a bike or other portable asset to steal, although that is far and away the least likely option.



As I was walking over to talk to them Randy asked me "what was wrong with my hair?" and "how come I was all dressed up on a Sunday?"





Obviously Randy had gotten an early start and thus was probably not part of the "how do I get drunk" but rather the "how do I stay drunk" contingent, but I didn't want to ruin his buzz so early in the morning.

"I'm going to church. Don't you wear a tie when you go to church?"

"Last time I went to church was when I went to an AA meeting. I don't think I had a tie on, though, but I don't really remember, I was pretty drunk.

"You went to an AA meeting drunk?"

"Yeah, I din't have any cigarettes and I was hungry so I went and bummed some smokes and ate some cookies."

"You go to the meeting?"

"No. Why the hell would I do that?"

"I dunno. To get sober?"

"Like I said, why the hell would I do that?"

The conversation was going nowhere, so I went over to give Christian a few bucks so they could all get a few beers to start the morning. As usual, once beer money is in hand, Marine Mike snapped off a crisp salute and shouted "Reporting for duty, sir!"



Duty, indeed.

Venice Surf Report 08/12/08 News Flash: The Government's Lying To You

Not bad, I guess.





A little drained out and a tiny bit crossed up leaves us with swell in the waist to chest high range that is a mix of closeouts and really quick corners. On anything other than the smallest of potato chips you would need to really position yourself down the line in order to make the corner but if you did, and could get slotted and moving, well, it looks like there is some potential.





Of course, if my aunt had a pair she'd be my uncle, but you get the point.

Only three out total, lots of parking, still overcast and cool, tide pretty mych flat from now until about 5 pm, winds slightly onshore already.

Saw the boyos this morning.



They were sitting at the picnic tables looking very morose and not chpper at all. In fact, Christian was so down and out he didn't even insult me before he asked me for beer money.

Not Mikey Marine, though. No, he was full of his usual piss and vinegar and told me about how they held an improptu "HobOlympics" themsleves when they got bored the other day.

"Really?" I asked. "What were the events?"

"Oh, we did pushups, sit ups, pull ups, we did a lot of shit."

"Wow, sounds pretty cool. Who won?" I asked.

"Well, I did two push-ups and was the only one who was able to do either a sit-up or a pull-up, so I guess it was me."

"Good for you" I replied. "Let's get a picture for the website."

So, here it is.



I can only imagine what sort of show that must have been: ten guys so drunk they can barely fall down, let alone stand, trying to do push ups and pull ups. I imagine it would have loooked like some sort of physical therapy for car crash brain injury victims, but part of the therapy involves getting stinking drunk and living in the bushes for a month first. That's just fun for the whole family, now, isn't it?

Tommy was there as well with some guy I had neve seen before, but seems to fit right in.



God help Tommy if they ever quit publishing the newspaper; I don't know what he would do without it.

Okay, as you know I have been railing for months now about how the financial companies and others have been manipulating their numbers making things look far better than they reall are. Well, I found an excellent video on the net via The Big Picture and if you want to see EXACTLY how the Federal Government lies to us about things like CPI, GDP, Inflation, etc etc etc to keep us happy, well, it is certainly worth a look.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH VIDEO

Venice Surf Report 08/11/08 Busy busy day

Well, you guys are really in for a treat today. First, no surf report. Had to go to the airport at 5 am and frankly didn't feel like sitting around waiting for it to get light at the pier for an hour so I went to work instead.

Second, I got nothing else today. Extraordinarily busy and have some weird things going on with my eyes where they itch like crazy so it's bugging me and driving me up the wall.

Oh, by the way, supposed to be FLLLAAATTTTTT all week long. Hooray!

Will try to pose something later.

Out.

Venice Surf Report 08/08/08 Another Bond Insurer Ensures Bullshit Results

Wow - surprisingly good out there.



Looks a bit disorganized but as you can see from the pics the knee high swell is offering up some fun little rides if you can position yourself on an end. Should only get better with the tide push before drowning it out altogether - I say go if you can.





Bring the longboard or fish though; it looks like that kinda morning.

Only two out on the north side trading off the waves, nobody else even looking, light/variable winds, sun out, plenty of parking.

So, our big story today in the markets is Fannie Mae lost another 4.3B for the quarter (ho-hum, who cares?), but oil is down $2.00 and best of all MBIA, the largest bond insurer in the country, actually turned a profit for the quarter!

Wow! Really?? That's amazing! Everyone thought they were going to lose money, who in the world did they pull a profit?

Those who read this blog know - they fucking lied.

As you may recall we discussed this a few days ago in How to turn a $4.4B loss into an $937M gain with another bond insurer, Ambac, but I thought it would be fun to show EXACTLY how this crap works and how easy it is for these guys to pull money out of thin air.

Okay, first, let's look at today's earnings release for MBIA.

Aug. 8 (Bloomberg) -- MBIA Inc. posted a second-quarter profit that beat analyst estimates and decided against taking additional reserves for mortgage-related guarantees.

Net income rose eightfold to a record $1.7 billion, or $7.14 a share, after a change in accounting rules allowed the Armonk, New York-based bond insurer to record a $3.3 billion gain on the declining value of its liabilities. Profit excluding the gains was 96 cents a share, exceeding the average analyst prediction for a loss of $1.23, based on a Bloomberg survey. MBIA said new business production fell 93 percent after losing its AAA ratings.

Okay, two things jump out at me: 1) "a change in accounting rules allowed the Armonk, NY based bond insurer to record a $3.3B gain in the declining value of its liabilities" and 2) "new business production fell 93%"

Let's leave #2 for later and take a look at how a company can "make" 3.3B on the declining value of its liabilities.

Below is a picture of a Bloomberg description of one if MBIA's liabilities, a 6.625% coupon bond issued 9/98.

CLICK PIC TO ENLARGE



As you can see the total issue size is $150M. Now let's look at where the bonds are trading.

This is the ALLQ screen from Bloomberg, and shows active bids and offers from all dealers for this particular security.

CLICK PIC TO ENLARGE



As you can see there are two sides listed; the bid side on the left, or where dealers where will buy this bond from you, and the offer side on the right, or where they will sell to you. As you can see, the bid side for this bond is about $45.37, or $453.70 for each bond with a face dollar amount of $1,000.00. This is what we call "45 cents on the dollar"

Ok, now this is where it gets fun. MBIA needs some money so they are marking their liabilities, like this bond, down. Well, the bid side is .4537, the total issue size is $150,000,000.00 so we do the math and come up with:

150,000,000 * .4537 = 68,055,000

So, my original liability of 150,000,000 now only "costs" me $68,000,000. That is a savings of $82,000,000 !

Let's book that $82,000,000 as revenue, right this minute.

Neat, huh?

And here's the best part. Check out this screen which lists one page of six of MBIA's corporate bonds.

CLICK PIC TO ENLARGE



So, as you can see, they have pages and pages of these bonds that they can go through and "mark down" and book the "savings" as revenue.

Keep in mind though - in the bond described above the bondholders sure as hell expect to get the full 150M back. Plus, should by some fucking miracle MBIA recovers and these bonds start trading at par again they will they have to WRITE OFF this $3.3B as a loss...oh, no, wait, no they won't; this rule is OPTIONAL. So they only use it when it is to their benefit, another nice little trick. But the holders will, eventually, be the like the Mafia and say "fuck you, pay me".

But, no revenue, no money, no savings realized and 3.3B in bullshit added as revenue.

The second part, that "new business" was off by 93%, well, I don't think I have to explain that, do I? That would be like saying my pay dropped 93% for the year but I made the most money EVER! Not very likely.

Oh, and here's one more item just to show you how freaking myopic most people really are.

Here is a grab of the top Bloomberg news stories for the morning.

CLICK PIC TO ENLARGE



What do we see? MBIA turned a profit. What don't we see? Fannie Mae lost 4.3B.

Again, invest in these shells of companies at your own peril.

Venice Surf Report 08/07/08 Hottie vs. Lard Of The Dance

There's some swell out there, but once again - it's the tide!

Maybe chest high on the best that I saw, but even though the tide is a +2 ft. low, it still needs just a bit more depth to stop it from walling up and closing out once it hits the outside sand bar. The tide is headed towards a +5 ft high at 2:30 pm, so you should have a wide window of fun as the morning progresses.





The surface does have a weird, on-shore looking chop to it, but the winds are calm and the sun is making its appearance on time.





Nobody out yet (that should tell you something), a couple scoping but not taking, light/variable winds, slight bump on the surface, sun coming out in force and once again, a beautiful SoCal day on tap.

So, yesterday I took my afternoon walk trying to make sure I get some exercise on days I don't surf (very blown out yesterday) and I saw an example of the amazing dichotomies that exist every day here in Los Angeles.

As I am finishing up the beach partof the walk I see an old man standing ankle high in the surf and it looks like he is ....dancing? Having a seizure? A previously unidentified boyo having DT's?

You tell me......











So I sat there and watched and much like a train wreck I could not avert my eyes. The old dude soon had quite a crowd yet he was totally oblivious, gyrating and twisting to the music that played only in his head, or responding to the voices that only he could hear.

The comedy, however, soon became tragedy as it became pretty clear that even if he had wanted to stop he plainly couldn't. Once everyone realized this the crowd slowly dispersed, avoiding looking at each other and muttering to ourselves. Hell, that could be ME someday, we all thought, dancing around in my underwear under the Venice Pier, pleading with the crowd to somehow get me to stop only to be ignored. Jesus, that's depressing as shit.

So, anyways, once I realized this I only took maybe 100 more pictures before I left him alone. I have made a slideshow of all the pictures and have posted it on the sidebar on the right; it's worth a watch if you have a few minutes.

So, I get up off the beach kinda bummed, I guess, when what do I see but this -





Not bad - could do without the fanny pack but she had a nice rack.

So, I cheered up a little bit; maybe things aren't ALL bad.

Then I saw this........





Holy Shit! Now I felt much better. Check out the body on this chick - is that just about perfect or what? She's even smuggling raisins!

So, feeeling much better, I went to Nick's and bought a round of beers for Tommy, Leprechaun and Jingles. They were very appreciative and I left them feeling much better. As I walk away I notice the super hottie crouching down in front of someone to get her picture taken, and all I can see is her perfect little ass silhouetted by the sun. Naturally, I had to get a few pics.







After all this I left in high spirits indeed. Sometimes you do get what you need.

Vencie Surf Report 08/06/08 Drexting

Good God - low tide in Venice again, by now you should know what that means.

Maybe chest to head high, semi consistent and clean. But again, low tide Venice equals quick drops, short rides, eat shit, repeat.















Fun enough for a few laughs if you don't feel like driving but will be certainly much better up north, and I heard from a few that yesterday was really, really good; should be the same today.

3-4 out total, dead calm, sun breaking out, a movie shoot setting up in the lot so parking may be tough once the street fills.

Tommy was out early this morning huddled up on his latest beach chair with his head buried in the L.A. Times.



"Hey Tommy, what's happening? How come you're not done with the paper yet? Hell, it's been light for almost 40 minutes already!"

"Oh, I read all the stupid shit, I'm just working on the crossword puzzle now."

And you know what? He'll finish it.

Jingles was there, too. As you can see his headgear is absent, and when I asked him where it was he said it was "in its case" and he didn't like to wear it "too early in the morning."



Why not, right? If you're going to wear crazy shit like that you might as well have weird rules for it, too.

Lastly, as I mentioned Monday I saw a person texting while driving who, 5 minutes after I saw her, plowed headfirst into the center median, totalling her car. I have come up with a new term for thismost insane of activities: Drexting

Well, guess what I saw yesterday afternoon - again?



That is so smart I can't even find words......

Venice Surf Report 08/04/08 Bummer Way To Start Monday

Ho9ld on to your hats - there is a negative low tide at 6:00 am this morning and you will never, ever believe what that is doing to the waves at Venice.

Drum roll please.........yes, they are walled up and dumping right on the beach!



I was as shocked as you. Really, I was. However, there is a silver lining this morning as we have a big tide push coming as we head towards our +5.5 ft. high tide which occurs at 12:30 or so, and the last few days have been very fun during this push, so if you have the time and wanna get wet I would say that your window is anytime after 9 am or so.





Not surprisingly nobody out yet (then again it was still pretty much dark), plenty of parking , yada yada yada, light wind out of the north and relatively clean surface. Overall grade D-, but after 9am we have a potential for a B, maybe a B+.

Got this pretty cool shot of Washington Blvd. looking down the pier very early; gives a good idea of what it's like down there as night gives way to day.



So, driving to work on the 10 this morning and traffic was very light but as usual there were a few assorted morons, one of which caught my eye.

She was doing about 85 mph in a Nissan Maxima as she passed me on the left and was swerving a bit as she flew by. I noticed her headlights moving erratically as she came up from behind so I looked over as she passed and guess what she was doing as she was driving? Texting on her cell phone.

Now, I don't know about you, but I can barely text when it's all I'm doing, so I can't imagine doing it while flying down the highway, but I quit being surprised by how stupid people are a long time ago, so I saw it and pretty much just forgot about it.

For about 5 minutes, anyways. Because that was how long it was until all of a sudden all traffic comes to a standstill and then starts moving very slowly, with cars going around something in the center lane. Wanna guess what it was?

Yep, our brainiac texter has smashed the front of her car into the center median and is now sitting in a newly totalled Maxima completely sideways in the two left lanes and is trying to use her cell phone to call for help.

After laughing my ass off for about 15 seconds I could see that I was going to pass right by her so I immediately grabbed my camera hoping to get some shots of this jackass. Unforrtunately I was too close for the lens I had on and there wasn't quite enough light yet, but here is the only one that shows a little of what I saw.



So the point is texting is a great idea while you are driving.

Nouriel Roubini is on CNBC right now. He has been right on the money for every single thing that has happened with the banks since last year and is now saying that total losses for banks will be 2 Trillion dollars and that 700-1200 banks will fail.

You can read his blog here (and you really, really should) but the real nice thing is I bought more SKF about 5 minutes ago. Let's see if it pops. Also, WCI, a big homebuilder declared Chapter 11 this morning, so that ain't helping.

May be time to look at SKF and SRS again.......just a thought.

The Journal did an interesting video about new development "Ghost Towns" where the first residents moving into new subdivisions are finding they are actually the only residents in these subdivisions. It's worth a watch.

Venice Surf Report 07/31/08 Dave Shows Up

Venice Surf Report Surf Report Venice Beach The Boyos

A little more size out there today....






I would call it in the chest high range, maybe a bit bigger on the standouts, but still a little bit walled due to the lowish tide. As the tide continues to fill in towards the high at 10:05 it should get more manageable on the shape, and if the wind stays mild and the size holds tonight will have some real potential.





Of course, that and 50 cents will get you a newspaper, but still, a man can hope.

One out south, two out north, two more getting in, overcast and calm winds. Overall grade: C++.

So, I am sitting on my back porch yesterday wondering why my tomato and corn plants, which grew like gangbusters for three months and now have pretty much died, when who should walk by but Dave!





As you can see he has added a beard and has pretty much stopped washing - no, just kidding, actually Dave is dirty because he has been working pretty much every day.

"So Dave, where have you been staying, I saw that your old campsite is pretty much gone, huh?"

"Yeah, they tore that whole fence down so I had to find a new spot; it's real close to Mother's beach."

"Oh, that's good" I replied.

"Yeah, I've got this new buddy of mine and we watch each other's backs so it turns out OK. Plus, we have that liquor store just a couple hundred feet away which stays open real late so it's very convenient."

"Speaking of beer, you want one? I got some Tecates in this cooler from a couple weeks ago but they're kinda warm."

"Shit, I don't care, I'll take anything I can get!"

So, not only am I talking to my homeless buddy, which I am sure absolutely thrills the neighbors, I am now offloading all my warm and skunky beer from a party two weeks ago on him.

And what does Dave do? Does he shove them in his pockets and casually stroll off? Nope, he puts them on the fence, pops one, chugs it and proceeds to VERY LOUDLY puke it right back up in the middle of the parking lot.

Wonderful.

"Told you they were warm" I said.

"Boy, you weren't kidding.....arrrgggghhhoooooggghhh!!!!!!!"

"Hey Dave, think you could take the vomiting variety hour on the road?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, sure, sorry about that, I just wasn't thinking. Hey, gimme some towels and I'll clean this up" he said.

"That's okay dude, I'll hose it down."

"Oh, okay. well, thanks again, Matt, I really appreciate it."

"No problem. Talk to you soon."

"You bet."

And with that, and a little spray from the hose, all trace of him was gone.

Good to hear he is still working at least Maybe he can work on that vomit thing a little.

Venice Surf Report 07/30/08 Jingles Takes Safety To Heart

Looks pretty fun and racy out there this morning.

Had a long conversation with some of the boyos so didn't have much time for the surf photos, but there is a decent mix out there in the waist to chest high range that is super fast and hollow.





You can see that by the picture of Jaime getting completely barreled in this picture.



Definitely a morning for the shortboard crowd, as I think you would have a hard time getting in front of it on a longboard, but it certainly bodes well for up north I would think.



3 out on the south side, 6 out on the north, some street parking left and the standard early morning overcast, calm winds, kinda cool SoCal morning working.

The boyos were out in force this morning. Most notable was Jingles, who has made some rather interesting changes to the menagerie of dreamcatchers, paperclips, rags and other pieces of flair he hangs off his hat, creating a mobile of trash hanging around his head.

See if you can figure out what it is.



That's right, he has added a couple of reflectors off a (stolen) bike in order to increase his visibility to others at night.

At first I thought this was merely decorative, as he didn't have any of this type of adornment before, but he pointed out to me that since his own vision was so impaired due to his bizarre headgear it was critical that he made himself stand out to cars as he staggers around the boardwalk, especially at night.

Makes sense to me.

The boyos were there under their favorite shrub getting the morning off to a roaring start by pounding down a satchel full of Hurricanes by Budweiser, the beer with "Extra Gravity".



I guess this guy Johnny thought he was reporting for duty, as he snapped off a crisp salute as he saw me taking is picture.



We discussed the upcoming HobOlympics in great detail, and decided on a location and time. Due to the supposed Johnny Law intention to fuck with us should they find out where and when it will have to remain a secret for now, but I have BIG plans for this year's event. I do not think we will be disappointed as the cash prizes will be more substantial this year and the events much more thorough and degrading.

Finally, I saw this group on the beach this morning doing something which simply defied explanation. They were standing in a circle, holding hands and kept coming in towards each other while raising their hands over their heads. They must have done this 20-25 times by the time they quit but then quickly started doing some sort of weird dance/spasm, all the while singing and screaming at the top of their lungs.

















Since three of these people are wearing shirts that say "ask me about Laughter Yoga" I am assuming that is what this is, but frankly I think I had all my questions answered by watching these yahoos for 5 minutes this morning.

But maybe you DO want to know more about Laughter Yoga; well, believe it or not there are 6000 LY clubs in 60 countries. From their website:

Laughter Yoga is a unique concept developed by Indian physician, Dr. Madan Kataria. It is fast sweeping the world and is truly a life changing experience. It combines laughter exercises with yoga breathing which brings more oxygen to the body and brain making one feel more energetic and healthy. The concept is based on a scientific fact that the body cannot differentiate between fake and real laughter. One gets the same physiological and psychological benefits. Safe, easy and scientifically proven, Laughter Yoga is a lot of fun. Started with just five people in 1995, today it is a global phenomenon with over 6000 clubs in 60 countries.

Laughter Yoga is "a lot of fun"? Well, I should hope so.

And, believe it or not, it was started by an "Indian Doctor", a group that has proven its ability to separate gullible Americans from their money for about 50 years now.

My take: I sure as hell can tell the difference between "fake" and "real" laughter. If you doubt me just tell a really crude nigger joke at a crowded Popeye's Chicken at 1:00 am on a Saturday morning; believe me, it will soon become VERY apparent what the difference is between "real" and "fake" laughter. The guys who are beating you will be laughing for real, the feeble attempt you make to tell them you were "just kidding" as they kick your ass will be most definitely fake.

Venice never fails to surprise, does it?

Venice Surf Report 07/29/08 Christian Gets The Shakes

Hmmm - even for Venice it looks especially crappy today.





I did get some reports that there were dome fun ones out there, but in the few minutes I watched it I didn't see anything worth writing home about. Swell is in the knee to waist high range but the winds have already started and are blowing onshore at about 5-7 kts already, putting a decent texture on the water.



Overall grade: D+

Nobody out, one getting in, lots of street parking, overcast and gloomy.

Tommy was out early this morning. As usual he had his head buried in the LA Times and I was running a bit late so didn't have time to chat, but it is good to see him keeping occupied.



As I was walking back to my car I was approached by a random hobo who was "sent over by Christian" to see f I could "give them some beer money."

"Why isn't Christian here asking me himself?" I asked.

"Dude, he's shaking so bad from the DT's he can't even get up; he needs a beer bad."

"I got a buck, that's it."

"Alright, we'll take it."



As I gave him the dollar I saw him scurry off to the bushes.

Some life, huh?

Venice Surf Report 07/25/08 The Boyos In The Bushes

Venice Surf Report Surf Report Southern California

There is some swell in the water, but the surfers in the water probably wouldn't say so.





Lowish tide and a very disorganized swell mix just have it plain junky, mixed up and shifty. I watched for a solid fifteen minutes and neither of the two guys out on the north side got into anything at all.





It might be (shit, has to be) better up north, especially given the tide, maybe we will see oil continue to drop and those trips will get a little bit more affordable.

Sun making an early appearance, plenty of street parking left, two out, one more getting in, overall grade a C-.

Saw Tommy early this morning.

As you can see he is reading the LA Times just like any other man of leisure, striking a rather elegant pose as befitting a man of his position.





It is a bit curious that he would be perusing the movie ads as he has no money, and even if he did it would be a tough sell getting anyone to sit next to him in the close confines of a movie theater for 2+ hours given his (lack of) personal grooming habits, but I guess a man can dream, eh?

I went over to talk to him and he had a rather interesting story to tell.



"Hey, Tommy, what's happening?" I asked.

"Not much" he replied.

"The boyos over by the bathroom?"

He shook his head and pointed over towards the bushes.



"No, they're sleeping over there now" he said. "The guys that clean the bathrooms were making them wake up too early so they moved over to the bushes, but then they were having a problem with the sprinklers turning on first thing in the morning."

"Really?"

"Yeah" he replied, "but they thought they had it figured out yesterday when they found a water valve and turned the thing off in the hopes of killing the sprinklers. Turns out what they had turned off, though, was the water supply to the bathrooms and showers, and once they had it closed couldn't get it back open. DWP came down and it took them something like 6 hours to figure out the problem."

"What about the sprinklers, they get them off?"

"Nope. But I guess they just don't care."

"I guess not" I replied.

Oh, those boyos, there's just no telling what sort of mischief they'll get into!

Venice Surf Report 07/23/08 Dog vs.Squirrel

Wow - flat, flat, flat.

Low tide, drained out, no swell AND even a tiny bit onshore already.

Sounds like a good mix to me - I would get on it. The 5 surfers scattered about from the breakwater to the Marina seemed to be having a real blast surfing the ankle high rollers that are breaking in about 6 inches of water, I can't imagine why there aren't more people out.





Overcast and clammy, light onshores - and did I meantion it is FLAT?



No surfing in Venice today.

As I pulled up this morning I saw a woman holding onto her Weimaraner as he checked out something of intense interest on the tree directly in front of him. I couldn't see what it was until I walked around behind her and who should it be but Fred!



OK, maybe it's not Fred, but this squirrel sure had a lot of gumption standing up to this dog. After all, he doesn't know that owner isn't going to just let the leash drop, and the dog, while maybe just curious, sure looks like it would like to taste that squirrel.



Anyways, finally the squirrel says I have had enough and bolts up the tree.

Smart squirrel.

Vencie Surf Report 07/21/08 Ass Kicking Extraordinaire

Well, let's see - super low tide in Venice at 6:00 am and we all know what we get on low tides in Venice, don't we? That's right - walled up, suck out junk.

Well, guess what we have today? Walled up, sucking out junk!





I know, I was as shocked as you.

Not surprisingly nobody in the water, at least not yet. The swell is in the waist to chest high range so it's not flat, but there is really no point in getting in the water until it fills in some, say around 10 am, lasting until the high at 1 pm.





Until then I would say you are out of luck unless you feel like driving north like I did yesterday. Was a bit inconsistent but man, the crowds - there had to be 50 guys in the water at Staircase, an all time record for sure. Caught a couple nice bombs but that place just doesn't like the high tide.

No boyos out and about this morning, but the HobOlympics are DEFINITELY on for this Saturday. A hidden location near the pier and outside the jurisdiction of LAPD has been selected and the contestants are being informed this week. Due to the heightened security at this year's event it will, unfortunately, be invitation only, but what the hell - you have to qualify for the regular Olympics, why not the HobOlympics?

At any rate, stay tuned for more details. I plan on having a more comprehensive event list this year and will try to keep the chug of war the last, rather than the first, event. But we shall see.

OK - one quick thing about this latest rally in the financials. It all started last week when Wells fargo came out and "beat the street", sending financial stocks to their biggest weekly rally in decades. My contention has been that these banks are full of shit and are fudging their numbers so they can beat estimates by a penny or two. Well, turns out I was right.

According to their latest filing, Wells Fargo "took the unprecedented step of extending charge-off acknowledgment from 120 days to 160 days. This allowed the bank to move less capital to loan loss reserves and report better than expected horrible earnings."

Now, why would a bank do that? What possible rationale would they have for changing a decades old rule of saying that when someone is 120 days late we move that loan from the asset to the loss column? Is 40 days really going to change things? Is the economy going to turn around and be much, much better in 40 days so that now all these deadbeats can pay up? I don't think so. They did it for one reason: so that they could "beat the street" this quarter.

This is pure proof that these banks are lying and nothing on their balance sheets can be trusted. The consumer is tapped, mortagage and credit card delinquncies are continuing to rise, these banks are not generating new revenue and their only purpose in life right now is to keep the ship afloat for one more quarter and pray to God Almighy that some fucking miracle comes along to pull their collective chestnuts out of the fire before all of these avuian flu infected roosters they have created come home to roost.

Some numbers can't be lied about, though, and I expect we will all get a healthy dose of reality when new and existing home sales come out this week. That should start sending the banks the other way.

At any rate, I am as tired of beating on this soap box as you are reading about it, so here is something a lot more entertaining.

Fedor Emelianenko made his UFC debut this past weekend and well, let me be the first to say this guy is pretty fucking amazing. I don't know how much I would need to step in the ring with the guy but it would have to be at least enough to cover the cost of a live-in nurse, a wheelchair and a feeding tube, 'cause that is what I would need right after the fight.

Venice Surf Report 07/17/08 An Interesting Morning

Venice Surf Report Free Surf Report Venice CA Surfing Venice CA

Looking okay out there, I guess.

To be honest I am getting pretty tired of taking pictures of these fucking waves. Venice is an OK place to surf, and certainly has its mornings, but I get the strong feeling that not many people check this thing to see whether or not they are actually going to paddle out.

Of course, if I quit checking the waves I would have missed mornings like today. And I would have to change the name of the blog. And the URL. Oh, what the fuck, I'll keep doing it.

OK - the waves - about the same as you always get at Venice. Maybe waist high, a couple of bigger ones on the sets, blah blah blah - here's some pictures, you decide.







Not bad - but this was the exception and definitely not the rule.

Handful out on either side, still some parking, a gorgeous day on tap. Maybe we could forego the onshore winds today and give us afternoon surfers a break, eh?

Anyways, on to the important stuff.

As soon as I get out of my car this morning who do I see but Randy pushing his stuff down the middle of Washington Avenue.



"Hey, Randy, what's happening this morning?" I ask.

"Boy, you just missed it, man. These two bitch cops were just here telling us how they were going to lock us up and take away our shit and all because they read about the next HobOlympics. They's looking for you, man."

"Get the fuck out of here" I replied.

No, I'm serious, you just missed 'em. They told me I had three warrants out and they was gonna lock me up."

"Don't worry about it dude" his buddy chimes in "last time I got taken down I had 32 warrants and I was out in 24 hours."

"Yeah, I know, I just wish they would do it now instead of on Friday when I gotta spend all weeekend in there" Randy said.

"Were they really giving you shit about the HobOlympics?" I asked.

"Hell yeah. They're pissed."

Interesting. Well, needless to say that this puts a whole new face on things. A new location will need to be found where this year's festivities can take place, and one where the LAPD is not likely to show. I'll have to think about this one.

All the rest of the crew was there this morning as well.

Christian was up and about. Here he is from across the parking lot.



As you can see he has already had quite a morning. When I saw him he was on his "third fucking beer, goddamn it" and had had "an accident when I passed out last night. Or this morning. I forget which."

See if you can guess what it is.



Yes, Christian has once again pissed his pants, but seemed very nonchalant about the whole thing. I guess when you do it 5 times a week it just becomes old habit. Hell, he may not even remember what toilets are there for by this time.

But he was up and partying and in high spirits, indeed. Here he is giving the "Steel Reserve 211 6 am One Can Salute".





But he soon finished this beer and started rooting around for another.

But, as luck would have it, at the exact moment that he drops his empty beer in the trash can (the boyos do not litter) who should roll up but the LAPD.

Now Christian, with his military background, always tries to joke around with the cops and shoot the shit with them, and most of the boyos resent this, as they would rather the police just go away. But these two cops were pretty cool and just rolled up to see what was going on, both with big smiles on their faces. I guess they find the boyos as funny as we do.

Here is Christian cracking a few jokes with the two policemen, pissy pants and all.





Seeing as they were having such a good time, Randy even decided to get in on the act.

Here he is asking the cops if they have seen "a chicken about this big running around the beach" and if they do, "would they catch it for him."



Soon they were all gathered around the car, sharing a few yuks at the crack of dawn.







At this point the cop driving noticed me taking all these pictures and asked me "what are you doing down here?"

"I'm with Amnesty International" I replied. "What's your badge number?"

"Oh, never mind, just curious" he said.

So they motored on, ready to see what else the morning had to bring.

And, of course, here is Christian about .005 seconds after they get out of sight.



So, at this point I moved on, and on the way out I saw Leprechaun and Jingles hanging out.